“The masses have never thirsted after truth. Whoever can supply them with illusions is easily their master; whoever attempts to destroy their illusions is always their victim. An individual in a crowd is a grain of sand amid other grains of sand, which the wind stirs up at will.”. ― Gustave Le Bon



7 – 0: Pre-Test:
PAUSE & BREATHE Review

Instructions: Choose the letter of the most correct answer.

1. PAUSE is best used when:
A. You want to speed up the conversation
B. You need to assert control over the other person
C. A moment of reflection or reset maybe needed
D. The helper wants to deliver quick advice

2. PAUSE is always coupled with:
A. Active listening
B. Deep analysis
C. Conscious breathing
D. Specific advice

3. Which of the following is a likely signal to pause?
A. Rapid movement toward action
B. A story that repeats with no new insight
C. A clear decision already made
D. Direct questions from the helper

4. PAUSE can be helpful for:
A. Diagnosing the root cause of a problem
B. Forcing clarity through urgency
C. Opening space for reflection or awareness
D. Moving the conversation past emotional blocks quickly

5. A good example of a PAUSE cue is:
A. “What do you want to do next?”
B. “Is that a valid assumption?”
C. “Let’s get to the solution.”
D. “Can you act on that now?”

Pre-Test Answer Key



7 – 2: Q&A IN:



7 – 3: CONTENT

View | Watch video on Mastering the Art of Pause & Breathe

SCRIPT: PAUSE



Pause & Breathe…

Welcome.

In this session, we’re focusing on the skill of PAUSE & BREATHE, a subtle yet powerful move in the Dynamic Inquiry System Skills (DISS).

Where other skills activate or explore, PAUSE creates spacetime — a moment of stillness that shifts energy, disrupts reactivity, and invites information & awareness….

It is often the smallest cue with the most leveraging outcome.

Let’s take a deep breath — and begin.




WHO uses PAUSE & BREATHE?

Anyone can benefit from this skill, but for helpers, managers, leaders, coaches, professionals, or educators, it’s essential.

PAUSE is always coupled with a conscious breath. Whether modeling it for others or applying it for yourself, the act of pausing and breathing is what allows attention, awareness, and a possible shift in pace.

Examples:
• “Could we take a breath?”
• “Do we need to pause?”

When you pause, you lead by example — creating spacetime not just for you, but for others.




WHAT is PAUSE & BREATHE?

It’s not just about taking a break — it’s about shifting the internal pace of thinking, feeling, and humaning.

For some, a 1-3 second pause feels like an eternity. For others, 5–10 seconds may be just enough to let awareness catch up to the situation.

Pausing helps slow the moment down. Breathing helps reconnect with the body. Together, they make room for clarity, reflection, and attention.

Examples (often blended with PING or PROBE):
• [Take a breath] “Could something be more important?”
• [Pause] “Is that a valid assumption?”

Model the breath. Let silence work. Help doesn’t always mean doing — it often means enabling and allowing.




WHEN is PAUSE most effective?

Use PAUSE when you notice the other person — or yourself — getting stuck, spinning, or recycling thoughts.

It’s particularly effective when there’s a gap between internal nature and external demands — a moment where deeper alignment is possible.

Examples:
• “Do you feel good about that?”
• “Is that the next right thing?”

These moments signal a need for a reset — not a push.




WHERE is PAUSE most powerful?

PAUSE shows up best in openings — when the conversation reaches a point where something new might emerge, but pressure or pace is getting in the way.

It’s a tool to bounce out of grooves, to gently notice automatic patterns.

Examples:
• “Is there something else?”
• “Could this be a time to reflect?”

Watch for those micro-moments — they’re often the doorway to breakthroughs or OPPORTUNITY.




WHY use PAUSE & BREATHE?

Because systems tend to hold themselves together — and so do people. They often remain organizationally closed, but are still energetically open.

We don’t always know what small signal might tip the system toward transition or change.

A pause invites awareness. A breath invites attention. Together, they invite OPPOR+UNITY: Openings, Possibilities, Plans, Outcomes, and RightACTION in view of broader Connection, Clarification, and Commitment.

Examples:
• “Are you afraid of something?”
• “Can you feel for a moment…”



Sometimes just holding the spacetime and taking a breath is more powerful than any advice or fix.




HOW does PAUSE work?

In practice, PAUSE is often modeled more than spoken. You consciously take a breath. You slow down. You hold the spacetime.

Offer a suggestion to breathe — without urgency or agenda.

You might even demonstrate it:
• Inhale for 3…
• Hold for 2…
• Exhale for 5…

Examples:
• “Well…”
• (Gently repeating a phrase): “Kids…?”

You’re not interrupting the story — you’re interrupting the lack of attention preventing reflection or deliberation.




Closing: Suggestions for Practice

Remember…

Pause gently.

Breathe consciously.

Model attention.

The people you help are often caught in systems of pressure, speed, and confusion. Just your ability to pause and breathe can invite something more human, more real, more grounded.

Today, practice noticing your own breath and attention.

Practice pausing before you respond with a cue…

Practice allowing the moment to open before rushing to fill it.



Thanks for listening — now go practice PAUSE & BREATHE… and let the spacetime speak.




Copyright Leadership University



More info @LeadU.com/news



7 – 3: APPLICATION

031924, 3:40 PM
TRANSCRIPT (Edited)

PH: 0:26
Hi, (NAME). How are you?

PBH: 0:36
I am pretty good.

PH: 0:38
Thanks for participating in our demo today.
Is there something that you would like help with?

PBH: 0:44
Yeah. Absolutely, Mike. So, something I have been questioning and need help with is self-fulfillment. I wanted to ask your opinion and thoughts… regarding how I could better understand what fulfills my life is sort of in a roadblock currently in my life. I just really want to get a better understanding.

MJ Mike Jay 1:06
Is that a term you picked up in self-knowledge?

PBH: 1:10
No, I mean, I picked up self-fulfillment a while back, you know, since I started reading Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, you know, in school.

PH: 1:23
Is there is there a way that you could check into your strengths profile and identify where self-fulfillment or whatever is close to it… if that is a strength […] in terms of your hierarchy of talent?

[NOTE upon edit: I misremembered and while getting a quick review of Strengths/Talent will be helpful, the self-fulfillment I was misremembering was in DRIVING FORCES in the DISC/Ensize.]

PBH: 1:43
Sure. Sorry, I am not prepared. Let me go ahead and open that up.

PH: 2:03
Yes.

PBH: 2:03
Mike?

PH: 2:04
In your strengths there will be something that is related to self-fulfillment. I do not know if those are the exact words, but it has to do with self-development, something like that. There is a strength theme and rather than slug through that right now. Let us just take the point of and say after the session… could you look at that and identify where that talent is, what it is, and know where it is in your hierarchy for me?

PBH: 2:37
Okay. Sure. Yeah. I have.

PBH: 2:42
What’s Important?

PBH: 2:44
What is important to me is ensuring that I feel fulfilled in my life and in my career, you know, I am currently struggling with that.

MJ Mike Jay 2:55
Do you know the roots of that thought or feeling complex?

PBH: 3:02
Yeah. So, I mean, the roots go back to when I was in high school and college. I mean, you know, your teachers push you and saying, Hey, you need a college degree to be successful this that and that, you know, and I did it and, you know, being college student, if you were to ask me 5 years ago and asked me what I wanted to be, that would be where I am today, and I have hit that goal, I have hit that achievement, and now I am at a sort of a roadblock and trying to find what is my next achievement or goal so I can feel some sort of fulfillment.

PH: 3:37
Are you afraid of something?

PBH: 3:41
Yeah, I actually I am afraid… I am afraid of following what is I truly want in life and taking that risk.

PH: 3:55
Have you seen other people who have failed at what you think that you want to do.

PBH: 4:07
Yeah, yeah. I have seen a lot of people fail but, you know, any mentor that I have talked to, they have all have always told me that it is worth the risk even if you fail, because that is the only way you are going to learn and it is a matter of taking that first step and first. Leap of faith and in the end they all all the mentors I have talked to have always told me that it will pay out in the end, does not pay off up front, but if you keep up to keep up with it and be consistent to what you follow or dream of, you eventually get there.

[PH says nothing, but holds the spacetime…]

PBH: 4:51
Yeah. So, uh, on the path I would say being more financially independent, um, you know, I take that very seriously and I am constantly reading articles and, you know, gaining knowledge and it has been a passion of mine… finance. It is 1 of my particular reasons why I got a degree in finance.

PH: 5:15
So…

PBH: 5:29
Just gaining knowledge throughout my journey as well.

PH: 5:38
Let us stop here… just based on time. You owe me a task or an ask? Anyway, you will get back to me on that. And then we might have the opportunity to do this again in the next round.



7 – 4: Q&A OUT




“An ideology — a system of concepts — makes sense of meaning. But it seems concepts are deceptive; they obscure the truth of meaning.

Maybe you could make better sense without them?

Maybe you can perceive reality directly, instead?

Maybe you can bypass concepts and gain ultimate insight by trusting your feelings?”

David Chapman on Meaningness.



7 – Reference




Post-Test:
PAUSE & BREATHE Review

Instructions: Choose the letter of the most correct answer.
1. The main purpose of PAUSE is to:
• A. Slow down action to buy time
• B. Create stillness that allows awareness to surface
• C. Prevent people from talking too much
• D. Deliver more effective suggestions

2. When is a pause/breath most useful?
• A. When you want to energize the conversation
• B. When someone needs to make a fast decision
• C. When someone is caught in recycled thoughts or emotional patterns
• D. When the problem is well-defined

3. PAUSE is most effective when paired with:
• A. Fast, clarifying questions
• B. Systemic advice and frameworks
• C. Silence and breathing
• D. Probing analysis

4. One risk of not using PAUSE is:
• A. Losing your turn to speak
• B. The conversation may lose momentum
• C. Important awareness might be missed
• D. The helper may seem passive

5. A core principle of PAUSE & BREATHE is:
• A. Use silence as a technique to avoid giving advice
• B. Create space where new awareness and connection can emerge
• C. Interrupt stories with solutions
• D. Help people relax so they don’t need to change

PostTest Answer Key




Pre-Test Answer Key:
1. C – A moment of reflection or reset is needed
2. C – Conscious breathing
3. B – A story that repeats with no new insight
4. C – Opening space for reflection or awareness
5. B – “Is that a valid assumption?”

Back to Pre-Test



View | Video of the class
View | Audio of class
View | Transcript of class



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Mike R Jay &  Gary Gile
Founders @ The NEW LeadU

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Mike R. Jay is a developmentalist utilizing consulting, coaching, advising and helping… emergent from dynamic inquiry as a means to cue, scaffold, support, lift, and protect; offering inspiration to aspiring leaders who are interested in humaning where being, doing, having, becoming, contributing, relating, guiding to produce resilience and wellth help people lead generative lives.

Post-Test Answer Key:
1. B – Create stillness that allows awareness to surface
2. C – When someone is caught in recycled thoughts or emotional patterns
3. C – Silence and breathing
4. C – Important awareness might be missed
5. B – Create space where new awareness and connection can emerge

Back to Post-Test