LeadU presents Compassion




For years, most of my life, I never agreed much with the dalai-lama-like compassion issues, I was exactly like this… @BS


"You tried to create for all of us a world as dark and evil as your own. But remember it always: You failed."
MARK E. KELLY, the husband of former Representative Gabrielle Giffords, at the sentencing of Jared L. Loughran, who killed six people and wounded 13 others, including Ms. Giffords, in a 2011 shooting rampage.

What I realized over the past decade is that these people are not inherently evil.  Some might be @F-L-O-W, but MOST are not.  Their hardwiring has failed, and reality is distorted.  We do not know what goes on in the minds of others, and how many things have to go right in order for people to do right…

We are too quick to blame, and we are too quick to take credit @BS

When you really get that we are riders on elephants, not all elephants, or riders are created alike and can be expected to act "normal", there is no such thing.

I am not disappointed with the sentence, because people too far outside the norms have to live in "structured" environments.  But when you look back (I bet you a dime to a donut), the beliefs @BS allowed this person to go unrecognized by the system as a person in need of "structure."

AND THAT is the problem with people @BS

Learning to recognize the need for structure quickly, apply it, and then allow the person to behave out of it, is the key; NOT the other way around, unless you want to sacrifice a lot of innocent people.

I know I will take flak for this, but so be it.  We can recognize in children the need for structured behavior; and because we are sympathetic (NOT COMPASSIONATE), we make excuses and worst of all, we pretend and give them increasing levels of freedom, and benefit of the doubt; because of the illusion that we can learn our way out of bad, or aberrant behavior.

Helpful Hint: People need to earn their freedom by demonstrating that they can be both held accountable and are responsible for their behavior, and if they prove incapable of handling the amount of freedom they are given, then changing the degrees of freedom is almost always a good bet for all. And that is compassionate.

Action Step: Study Oncken’s Levels of Freedom HERE and apply it to others, you will be glad you did, and so will the innocents.

If you have any comments, questions, suggestions, or need some additional help, please use the form below to submit them.  Someone will get back to you within 48 hours.  Or if you prefer, at the bottom of this page leave your comment and someone will get back to you.

    We hope you pick up valuable insights, ideas, and tools during this process, which you can use for your own development as well as your work and leadership with others.

    You, Me, and We @F-L-O-W

    Mike R. Jay is a developmentalist utilizing consulting, coaching, mentoring and advising as methods to offer developmental scaffolding for aspiring leaders who are interested in being, doing, having, becoming, and contributing… to helping people have lives.

    Mike R. Jay
    Leadership University

    © Generati

    Learn how you may become a member of our Inner Circle and receive the cutting edge on the most current thinking in Leader Development.  Visit Inner Circle Membership.

    Disclaimer |  Terms Of Service |  Earnings Disclaimer |  Privacy Notice |  Contact Support |  Buy the Book |  Media Disclaimer