TPOVs @F-L-O-W
Problems Solve Us; Message-Lesson-Problem-Crisis
"The torture will continue until
morale improves."
Caught this quote this morning…
It was in the context of government doing what it is
doing… And I remember writing back in 1989, an expose about
healthcare, at that time, I was coaching in healthcare, and
just beginning to learn to know that the safest place was NOT
in a hospital… e.g. the quote.
I wrote that the only way we could solve the healthcare
problem was to get rid of the intermediation, and it’s still
the same metapattern…that causes most of our maladies.
To the extent that we can sleep away from the problems, the
problems will get bigger.
Call it the pressure prompted syndrome, of people who on one
hand, have short time spans whose time spans are not concerned
about the near and far future, but now, and on others whose
spans are longer, to lose touch with the present.
This set of tensions makes it possible for problems to become
big enough that eventually they tip the scales and force
solutions, the problems solve us, as I remember Kegan and
Lahey writing in their book, How the Way We Talk Can Change
the Way We Work.
We just don’t do problems beyond our "fish bowl" well and
until the problems get big enough to cause bubbles, we don’t
pay attention to them.
You think we would learn, but we don’t.
The problems we have today in our institutions, in our lives,
in our relationships are all similar and derived from the same
meta pattern I’ve described.
Until the tension gets high enough,
the problems don’t solve us.
I’m often reminded of a TPOV I
wrote for coaching back in the earlier days of Coaching Edge, 2001,
more than a decade ago, I started writing for free, hehe,
based on the notion that if you put a lot of stuff out there
for free, people would get to know and love you and then buy.
OMG, what a stupid idea, I think i have more free content on
the web than other other coach out there, and it means nothing
really, so much for that assumption.
Helpful Hint:
[Keep in mind, this is Mike Jay 1996, hehe] In any case,
here’s the helpful hint for this TPOV, encapsulated in:
Message-Lesson-Problem-Crisis?
“The measure of success is not whether
you have a tough problem to deal with, but
whether
it’s the same problem you had last year.”–
John Foster Dulles
A friend of mine
and I were having a conversation one day. I had
been relating to this friend how I felt inadequate
in really assimilating aspects of learning into my
own "complex adaptive human self." The issues that
kept coming to the forefront were familiar, but I
was unable to get my arms around them enough to
really assimilate them into my being.
After I related
this to my friend, she said "are you familiar with
the interaction model that relates varying levels
of “notification” (message, lesson, problem, and
crisis) to increasing amplitudes of challenge (she
didn’t really say it that way, but I heard it like
that<G>)?"
Of
course I said "no", as was being demonstrated by
my inability to fully comprehend my inadequacy in
dealing with re-occurring challenges. My
friend explained the issue to me.
Here is my
rendition of the model:
The message…
When we receive a
notification from the environment, it often comes
subtly and without much fanfare. It arrives as a
nagging issue, an intuitive flare or a difficulty.
In this phase, it is a message. If we are asleep
and unaware, most of the times the
message
earns
the right to return because we failed to take
appropriate action—either to eliminate it, prevent
it or change the course of events that created it
in the first place. People with high levels of
awareness become “tuned in” to these messages and
respond accordingly.
If we fail to
respond to the message, we’re given a lesson…
At this point, we
become much more aware of the intensity of the
issue and its impact. It becomes necessary to
“deal” with what seems to present itself as a
learning opportunity. Again, if we are unaware or
overlook this “opportunity”, we find ourselves in
concert with the old adage of “history repeats
itself.”
The message
becomes a problem…
In business systems
we relate to a message as a problem signal. Often
we deal with the problem signal as a singular
event outside of the context. In this state, we
often increase the probability that more
sophisticated levels of problem resolution will be
REQUIRED. If the problem is not dealt with, it
brings about the fourth level of environmental
door knocking and this time it usually takes down
the door, part of the house and everyone standing
close by!
Crises and
firefighting…
Even to those in
deep sleep and totally unable to “notice” the
first messages, crisis clearly identifies
subsequent lessons and ensuing problems, as it
brings down the house. This is normally associated
with destructive change in business. In the first
three levels of notification, we can usually avert
destructive change and by using generative
methods, we can fashion individual, group and
organizational responses that eliminate, prevent
or solve the issues before reaching crisis stages.
It is almost as if
the problem created at one level of awareness
can’t be solved until a new level of awareness
brings it fully into view as a requirement/crises. Remember
what Einstein said: "A problem created at one
level requires a solution from a different level". Who
knows, perhaps what is happening in the
message/lesson/problem/crises model is occurring
naturally to produce such a condition of
awareness.
Action Step:
Coaching & the opportunity to
test the model. Ideally, in the coaching
interaction, we create the opportunity for the
client/subordinate to “sense” the environmental issue at the
message level. When clients/subordinates are unaware of these
messages and certainly the subsequent stages, we find our
interactions often steeped in an issue that has occurred and,
in some cases, re-occurred again and again. You eventually
stop waiting for people to learn, and just scaffold this, but
I think it’s helpful to see the four levels of behavior, and
tension that exists in problems solving us scenario.
Comments:
The coach can be extraordinarily
valuable at a time like this, not only in testing for the
probable course of events, but helping the person being
coached to orchestrate solutions that dive as deep into the
issues as necessary to prevent the destructive change likely
to occur with an ensuing crisis notification. This model is
very effective at drawing our attention in the interaction to
a recognition of a message growing into a full-blown crises if
left alone. Awareness of issues that can likely repeat
themselves means helping the client explore ways in which to
deal with the outcomes in a systemized fashion.
In our personal and business
relationships, we often experience the same cycle until it
drives the us from our circle or causes us to change and begin
a new generative process of awakening. When we become more
emotionally intelligent, we begin to notice the first levels
of difficulty and seek to remedy them before their natural
course of remedy, crisis, arrives, or not, because this notion
occurs @BS from Mike Jay 1998 @BS. In the 15 years since,
I
have decided that the noise of self, keeps us from hearing and
experiencing the observation of this noise as signal, and it’s
better to have someone scaffold you, rather than relying on
the LONG WAY, because the high road for most of us out of our
fish bowl of experience is in fact, a LONG TIME, as well.
Moving @F-L-O-W, we immediately notice the "pattern" and test
it, and move to scaffold quickly.
Lessons repeat themselves over and
Over again in our lives.
Until we take a look at the cause
We can expect the same people and
Situations to show up over and over again.
The faces and circumstances may seem
Different, but they will be revealed as the
Same lesson in the final outcome.
Let us take a hard look at the dis-peace we
See in our lives, identify the source of the
Repeated patterns and decide to see what
Old beliefs we still hold sacred.
Once we understand that our faulty thinking
Is what keeps us in repeated misery we can
Alter our thinking and recreate a new way to
Live in joy.
This time of year and especially this year is
An excellent time to adjust our thinking, and
Build new relationships and new experiences
Based on Love.
©Copyright:
John McIntosh and Jo Ann "Ananda" Polito
…Someone tries to teach us.
In childhood, he calls us
Each day to remember
one or two things only.
I remember I fell
one Sunday from my parents’
car, I saw it leaving
me on the road, going.
My parents do not recall it.
If we ignore that, he
waits till we are asleep.
opens the images, borrows
faces, turns men to turtles–
I dreamt that I sat
in a chair, and every other
Second I disappeared.
But what if we lose the dream?
Then he starts to do it
on his own, books fall
open to a certain passage,
two strangers in one day
speak the same sentence.
The telephone rings after the
funeral.
Insubstantial molecules turn
heavy, become tennis shoes.
If we still don’t
take in the knowledge,
then he turns to accidents,
diseases, suffering,
lost letters, torpid sleeps,
disasters, catatonia.
We walk, the glass
mountain opens, we fall in.
I usually ignore the other
three, and learn by falling.
This time we live it,
And only awaken years later.
-Robert Bly
The Man In The Black Coat Turns
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Mike R. Jay is a developmentalist utilizing consulting, coaching, mentoring and advising as methods to offer developmental scaffolding for aspiring leaders who are interested in being, doing, having, becoming, and contributing… to helping people have lives.
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