TPOVs @F-L-O-W
Scaffolding
The most difficult aspect of
design, whether it’s happiness, success, or the space between
is finding ways to scaffold the gap, tension or issues, rather
than try to change people. Even though trying to change people
is almost impossible, it’s easier to do because we’ve spent
the past 100 years thinking it’s the right thing to do.
Often I talk about scaffolding
which is such a large part of producing and maintaining, or
sustaining @F-L-O-W, not just the state, but the environment for
the state or psychology of @F-L-O-W to emerge again and again,
making compounding possible.
Let’s start with a simple example:
For whatever reason, I find it
difficult to stop and wash my hands as often as I should. I
know that it is not tied to my happiness, as I’m kind of a
slob, low order, and I despise routine, even when it’s good
for me.
As I live in emerging countries,
cleanliness is not a routine part of most of these countries
and because of the number of people and organisms that
co-habitate, people are always passing things around because,
if anything, we need to wash our hands much more than what we
take for granted in the west.
On
the one hand, I sometimes think I
hate doing the things necessary to stay as clean as I should,
as it’s just not on my agenda. Yet for success, if I don’t
engage in these things I’m not motivated to do, I can get sick
more often.
So, there is a gap between what I
should do (success) and what I need to do (motivation), and
therefore I need to change?
Wrong, it doesn’t last.
Here’s why.
The motivation to NOT do it, is
always going to trump doing it, at least habitually… I guess
I could use will power… but actually I’m smarter than that to think
that "willing" myself is ever going to resemble @F-L-O-W, but
I
really don’t like being sick all the time either. I’m now old
enough to be a protected species! hehehe (chat laughing), LOL!
So, the dilemma, the gap, the
problem, what to do… and since I can’t/won’t/don’t change, do
I just grin and bear it?
Actually, now is the time to look
for scaffolding, in its myriad forms.
What I did was simple and I love it.
Even though, there is controversy
about using hand sanitizers, I like using those for some
reason. So, I got the squirt kind where it’s just easy to
squirt it into your hand and then gently massage your hands
and fingers until it drys. I don’t have to use water (I might
be allergic to it for bathing, not sure<G>)… soap, or need
towels, almost as bad, or waste disposable hand towels.
Now, I’m sure there are drawbacks,
but for me, this really works. I find myself sanitizing my
hands ALL the time and I feel that I am doing some good, as
sanitizing for sure is better than nothing and it feels great
to me, to be able to squirt and go –> so to speak.
As a pacesetter, I don’t have a lot
of patience, especially for habits that take a long time (I
know, its idiosyncratic, but aren’t we all?)… and it’s
inexpensive, and leaves my hands feeling great.
All I did was substitute an act
that fit with my "utility, my impatience, my low order, and a
host of other things that worked for me.” I keep the stuff
everywhere I should wash my hands, and it’s simple.
Now, you won’t think that is a big
deal, but what I hope is it takes some of the mystery of
scaffolding and designing happiness and success and the space
in between.
Helpful Hint: Scaffolding is as simple as it needs to be. If we spent more
time, scaffolding ourselves and designing systems that worked
when we didn’t, @F-L-O-W would emerge as an everyday thing in our
lives, and our productivity, joy, and success would improve.
Action Step: Try it on
yourself. Find something that you should do, but don’t/won’t
do, and see if you can design a scaffolding process that holds
you up, while you’re getting into alignment, or actually
creates alignment where you can wake up and be, do, have, and
become happy and successful, even though there is no real
match.
If you have any comments, questions, suggestions, or need some additional help, please use the form below to submit them. Someone will get back to you within 48 hours.
We hope you pick up valuable insights, ideas, and
tools during this process, which you can use for your own development as
well as your work and leadership with others.
You, Me, and We @F-L-O-W
Mike R. Jay is a developmentalist utilizing consulting, coaching, mentoring and advising as methods to offer developmental scaffolding for aspiring leaders who are interested in being, doing, having, becoming, and contributing… to helping people have lives.
© Generati
Learn how you may become a member of our Inner Circle and receive the cutting edge on the most current thinking in Leader Development. Visit Inner Circle Membership.