Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument
(TKI)
Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI): Navigating Conflict with Awareness and Agility
The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode
Instrument (TKI) is the world’s best-selling instrument for conflict
resolution. The forced-choice, self-scoring inventory identifies a
person’s preferred conflict-handling style, or mode, and provides
detailed information about how he or she can use the five
modes—competing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising, and
collaborating—effectively. It is a widely used psychological assessment tool that helps individuals understand how they respond to conflict and how they can adapt their style to different situations. Developed by Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann, the TKI is based on a two-dimensional model that maps conflict behavior along the axes of assertiveness (the extent to which you try to satisfy your own concerns) and cooperativeness (the extent to which you try to satisfy others’ concerns).
The instrument identifies five conflict-handling modes, each representing a different balance between assertiveness and cooperativeness:
- Competing – high assertiveness, low cooperativeness: pursues one’s own concerns at the other’s expense.
- Collaborating – high assertiveness, high cooperativeness: seeks a win-win outcome that fully satisfies both parties.
- Compromising – moderate assertiveness and cooperativeness: aims for a mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both.
- Avoiding – low assertiveness, low cooperativeness: sidesteps the conflict, often withdrawing from the situation.
- Accommodating – low assertiveness, high cooperativeness: puts others’ needs ahead of one’s own.
What makes TKI especially valuable is its ability to raise self-awareness and situational awareness simultaneously. By helping individuals recognize their default conflict style, it opens the door to more conscious choices when tension arises. This is crucial in work environments where unmanaged conflict can erode trust, reduce engagement, and undermine team performance.
The TKI is often used in leadership development, team-building workshops, coaching sessions, and mediation. In team settings, it fosters mutual understanding by making visible how different people approach disagreements and decisions. Leaders can use the tool to identify group patterns, resolve persistent friction, and promote healthier communication norms.
In one-on-one coaching, TKI can be a catalyst for deeper reflection about how early experiences, cultural background, and organizational norms shape our approach to conflict. It also offers a roadmap for developing more versatile conflict competence, which is essential in dynamic, cross-functional, or diverse environments.
In practice, mastering conflict modes leads to better outcomes, not just fewer arguments. It allows teams and leaders to move through difficult conversations with greater emotional intelligence, reduced reactivity, and clearer purpose. This capacity to adapt conflict style in service of the larger mission is a hallmark of effective, generative leadership.
In summary, the TKI empowers individuals and teams to engage conflict more constructively. It transforms tension from a threat into an opportunity for growth, understanding, and more sustainable collaboration.
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Mike R. Jay is a developmentalist utilizing consulting, coaching, advising and helping… emergent from dynamic inquiry as a means to cue, scaffold, support, lift, and protect; offering inspiration to aspiring leaders who are interested in humaning where being, doing, having, becoming, contributing, relating, guiding to produce resilience and wellth help people lead generative lives.


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