Instead of going upstream to emotional intelligence, or what many have co-opted for self-control issues, the greatest way in which to teach people how to behave is through self-knowledge — more specifically what they notice, and how they regulate what they recognize."

In all the work I’ve done with Emotional Intelligence since it became fashionable in the late 80s and early 90s, the biggest TPOV I have come across, which few in the industry even notice, is the set of concepts in psychology regarding recognition and regulation.

This TPOV is really simple, it’s just not easy.

Recognition is a key construct of establishing a system of noticing, and recognizing that unconsciously our systems are wired for noticing what we notice, and to notice that —> what we are wired for noticing, for filtering and creating biases.

The goal in regulation is to understand that what we notice becomes a potential for regulation, again based on our inbornness, biases and filters.

Example:
We accept this notion as we realize it’s part of who we are and what is wired into us as a bias, filter or striving.

Yet, because we know this, we may let some of the urge, or tension around this set of conditions find their way without us, just to notice how we learn about our own regulation.

I think and feel that as this cycle of recognition and regulation becomes less subject and more object, that we relax our notions about the striving, and allow what is a perfectly natural bias, to go through us without evoking the consequences that unfettered process continue as subject.

Helpful Hint: Recognition and Regulation are natural processes of living, or aliveness.  They are occurring even as you read this TPOV, a thousand times a second, your system of R&R functioning to protect, grow, and develop you on the fly.  

Getting involved with this process is easy and requires no purchases of any kind.  Yet, this process is probably the highest leverage developmental tool available.

Action Step: STOP.  Think about what is going on right now, when I say stop.  Do you see the process working, are you trying to notice what you were recognizing and what was happening as a result?  This process of noticing is a meditation in @F-L-O-W.  

Becoming the observer of what you are doing is a process that can teach you about yourself, your biases, your noticing, and your journey.  It’s interesting that all we are making up about what we are doing, is nothing more than striving, using what is a natural process of just unconscious noticing, and what flows from that.